Reflections on the Singularity of Humankind

Alone.

Striking solitude.  The depth and breadth of absence.  Being utterly alone -- the feeling piercing your soul while you're in the midst of experiencing community with humankind to remind you that no one is capable to fill the void.

The void.

My void.

A deep, dark void that takes my fullest and most treasured moments of companionship all built up like strong sandcastles on the beach and destroys them, engulfing and eroding their foundations as water seeps in to destroy what was once thought stable and strong.

A void that reminds me of my own humanity. An other-wordly void...  does anyone else know what I'm talking about?  Beautiful humans filled with fragility, brokeness, and (albeit imperfect) love desperately want to fill the void for those they care about. Sadly, I've found each person I've met to be utterly incapable to fill mine.

God is in my void. It's hard to explain, it's just something you experience and know deep down in a part of you. I'm not sure I even understand. I only sensed God was present in the void after I'd *deeply* felt the void.

An Attempt to Understand Myself and My Thoughts Better

Travel with me, if you will, on a short thought experiment.  Picture a secluded valley encircled by steep mountains. This valley is titled "The Human Mind" and contains an expansive, lush green field.  It's clear that two distinct groups of people decided to make their home in this valley.  They have set up their habitations in tents and the two "camps" of people live on each side of the valley.  The site mirrors a battlefield, however, peace pervades the sweeping space.  The valley's serene expanse intrigues you and you decide to find out more about the type of people who live in these two camps.  

Rugova Mountains:  Visitors and locals alike come to enjoy the pastoral and idyllic beauty of the Ruogva mountains in the country of Kosovo.    

These camps have names. One camp is simply titled "Analyzed" and the other camp bears the title "Analyzers."  And the people who live in these camps personify these monikers. 

Let me start by describing the people who live in the "Analyzed" camp. We all know these types of people, and I might argue that all of us (especially as children) have found ourselves living in this camp at some point in our lives. The people who reside in this camp live and breathe to be analyzed (though they might not admit to this truth themselves). They are doers, they love sharing stories to anyone who will listen, and they enjoy it when others pay them attention. Most people would simply label them as extroverts, however, this would be incorrect. They simply *need* to be analyzed by those around them.  Everyone, yes everyone, needs this at some point in their lives. A lot of the time, the camp of the analyzed is super fun. It's full of people whose main priority is to be analyzed as opposed to those who read deeply, overthink, or over-analyze.  Sometimes you need to let loose and just be, and the camp of the analyzed is a great place to just enjoy life.  

And then there's the camp of the "Analyzer."  We all know these people too.  These are the philosophers, the deep thinkers, the people who analyze and re-analyze their thoughts.  This is the place where I reside when my old soul surfaces.  It's a place where you can get lost in searching for a deeper meaning and you can overthink your life away.  It’s a beautiful camp to be in, gosh, I ADORE this camp most times.  Sometimes I feel so alive in this camp, and I could write a whole page on the beauty and benefits of this camp, but there’s also a warning here --- you can overthink your life away. 

This story is meant to reach those who are stuck in the camp of the Analyzer.  Has anyone ever felt like your mind fell into a loop and everyone you saw, every thought you had, every feeling you experienced, you had to analyze and you just wanted out?  I have. If you've ever felt like you just couldn't stop thinking I want to say to you, “Have Hope!  Of course there’s a way out, you have two camps same as everybody else!  Cross that valley and spend a little bit of time living in the camp of the analyzed!" I think you need to keep both camps alive in your mind in order to be a happy and healthy human soul.  As Nike says, “Just do it.”  Don’t think about it (I don’t know how to stress this enough).  Just make the decision to cross that valley and live a little while in the camp of the analyzed.  A short while ago, I decided (rather unintentionally) to permanently camp in the "Analyzer" camp, and I forgot what it was like in the camp of the analyzed.  Let me just say that it wasn't very healthy. Thoughts and overanalyzing can take you places where you don’t want to reside permanently.  So make an active choice to realize that you, yes you, need to be on the receiving end of analysis.  Let people care for you from the camp of the analyzed.  Don't be afraid of it. We all need to let someone in our life analyze us at certain times in our life.  Be it our mom, our significant other, a close friend. Don’t push the people away who might just save your life and make sure you place people in your life who are willing to listen to you and "analyze" you.  

Upon surveying the valley for a while, you notice that sometimes people will leave one camp with their belongings and pack up to traverse to the other side. This is healthy behavior.  You notice that people in the camps seem to change their “camp” every once in while and some stay for a while in the middle and play.  Some even decide that they might sleep in the middle out under the stars and try and escape from both camps.  This is fun and perfectly acceptable too.  Just knowing that everyone has two camps (and needs to visit them both at times to check-in) is crucial for healthy living in my own life. 

I hope this helps someone. 

Welcome to My Blog

Hi! My name's Lauren and I'm a young twenty-something living in the heart of the city. I'm generally a happy, upbeat, and dramatic individual who's always finding herself in the midst of crazy mishaps and wacky adventures. I love that this spontaneous, audacious spirit is a large part of who I am; however, sometimes I feel that there's a deep, thinking soul living inside me who must be at least 1,000 years old. Sometimes, even when I'm having fun and living life to the fullest, my "old soul" will surface. My brain turns on and dreams up these big thoughts and revelations and "world theories." I think God brings me these thoughts and theories to help me understand myself and those around me better.  

I've dared to be brave enough, a few times in my life, to punch fear in the face and share my thoughts with others. It's not so easy for me to share these "old soul" thoughts, but by God's grace, I think my thoughts and revelations help others.  So, this blog is simply a small reflection of some of what goes on inside my head.  This blog will also feature my photography. As the old adage goes, sometimes a picture can share more than 1,000 words. I'm no psychologist and I know I don't have all the right answers, but I have found what Hope is and I desperately want to share it.  Simply put, I Hope to Help.  

"For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see fact to face."

1 Corinthians 13:22

Kosovo - part 1!!

Kosovo - a country full of wonderful people, rich history and beautiful sights.  This summer, I had the privilege to intern for the government of Kosovo at the  Investment Promotion Agency of Kosovo (IPAK).  As part of my internship, I worked with the tourism department to take pictures of some of the beautiful sights of Kosovo.  Below are some of my favorite images from my time in Kosovo!

Bill Clinton:  During the war in Kosovo in 1999, U.S. president, Bill Clinton led the charge to press Congress to authorize NATO to help Kosovo.  The arrival of NATO troops led to a victory for Kosovo and in honor of their gratitude, Kosovar citizens have erected a statue of Bill Clinton in their capital city of Pristina.

Filigran crown:  Filigran art is made by weaving thin silver and gold threads into jewelry and other creations.  The filigran craftsmen in Kosovo are exceptional in their craft and have been producing this form of art for centuries.  This crown was made by filigran artists in Prizren, a Turkish town of Kosovo.

The Mother Teresa Boulevard:  The Mother Teresa Boulevard possesses the heartbeat of the city of Pristina.  A popular place to meet friends for a coffee while enjoying the rush of the city, this boulevard is always full of liveliness and vitality.

Mother Teresa Cathedral:  The beautiful cathedral of Mother Teresa was erected in 2007 in the capital city of Pristina.  The cathedral opened its doors exactly 13 years after the death of Mother Teresa, an ethnically Albanian nun who used her life to be a selfless servant to others.

Mother Teresa Statue:  Located in the heart of the capital city of Prishtina, a statue of Mother Teresa was erected to honor the famous ethnically Albanian nun who lived her life in humanitarian service to others.

The Prizren Fountain:  This water fountain in Prizren, known as the Shadervan in Albanian, is part of the popular tourist spot located on the south side of the town of Prizren.  Legend has it that if you take a drink from the cool waters of the fountain, you will be guaranteed a visit back to Prizren in the future.

Sunset Over Industrial Pristina's Skyline:  A beautiful sunset over Pristina awakens the colorful and vibrant nightlife of Kosovo.

Sunset Over Pristina: The arrival of the sunset in Pristina is the grand commencement for locals and tourists alike to enjoy the nightlife of Kosovo.

View of Prizren from the fortress:  The bubbling Bistrica river and the majestic Sharr mountains construct the backdrop of the quaint town of Prizren, located in the south of Kosovo.  Known for retaining the culture of the Ottoman Empire, Prizren has a unique Turkish feel that draws many tourists and Kosovars to this historical city.